Before I start making all of my wonderful points I want you to think about yourself. When I decided where I wanted to give birth (both times) it was because I knew my "nonnegotiables". When Eli was born I was having an epidural and it was not up for discussion. Therefore, I birthed in a hospital. When Everett was born I was NOT having an epidural and it was not up for discussion. Could I have done that in a hospital? Absolutely, but I chose not to because of the information that I am about to share. You should consider what is absolutely out of the question for YOU. Then keep in mind that nothing is 100% nonnegotiable in the birthing process :)
Here come my amazing points.
The Domino Effect
Chances are you are going to choose to deliver with an OB in a hospital. So first I need to tell you about the domino effect. You go into labor, go to the hospital, have an epidural, contractions slow down because of the epidural and you're given pitocin to encourage contractions. As a result, contractions are unnaturally strong and cause the baby's heart rate to drop. Your doctor tells you that you need a cesarean because it is in the baby's best interest. You agree because that's scary to hear and now you're having surgery. So the epidural resulted in pitocin and the pitocin resulted in the cesarean. If you get induced you start out with pitocin. So you have these unnaturally strong contractions and probably want that epidural which will lead to more pitocin and ultimately a cesarean. Wow. Now you may be the exception. You might get induced, have an epidural, and still deliver vaginally. You are rare. Statistically, interventions during labor result in cesareans. Why? Because it's safe, quick, and easy for doctors. I have a huge problem with this ridiculousness that has become the norm in American hospitals, so I decided to go all natural with my second child. So this post is really geared for women who want natural births and are trying to decided where to have it.
Midwife vs. OBGYN
Jim Gaffigan does this hilarious bit about how he and his wife used a midwife with their four children because they believe in witchcraft. It's hilarious because it's so true that most people don't understand the role a midwife plays. People used to ask us, "Well what if something serious happens?" and that question is absolutely warranted. There are like three things that a midwife cannot do for you at a birth. They can't give you blood, perform an epidural, or perform a cesarean. Everything else falls under their realm of expertise, and let me tell you that they are freaking experts. So now that I've vouched for their capabilities here are some smaller points.
A midwife gives you more attention. Mine was at our home for like 18 hours straight. Seriously. I didn't spend 18 hours total with my OB in the entire duration of my first pregnancy. Okay, so they have OBs blown out of the water there.
A midwife educates you. Now, my midwife was above and beyond. She made it clear from our first meeting that if I chose to go down that road I was to learn things. Maybe not all midwives are this amazing, but I would bet that the majority are. My OB, on the other hand, only offered up information when I asked. It goes back to the whole "attention" thing. An OB has a lot more patients than a midwife, therefore a lot less time for each one. She didn't have time to sit there and talk to me in length about my diet or tell me how I can better my baby's position.
A midwife looks for the "why" when something is going on. Now again, this could vary from midwife to midwife and even OB to OB, but I have a good reason for why I include this varying point. I was group b strep positive when I was pregnant with Eli, so I was given antibiotics through an IV during labor. I totally understood this at the time, but when I was pregnant with Everett and still seeing my OB they didn't test me and said that it wasn't necessary because I was positive last time. Now group b strep comes and goes, so it didn't sit very well with me that I wasn't given anymore information on how to prevent it. I just was and would forever be group b strep positive in their eyes. One of the first things I asked my midwife about was what she did for women who were group b strep positive. Her response was completely different than my OBs. All of a sudden it was a matter of my diet and how to prevent myself from needing antibiotics during labor. You see, because antibiotics might kill bad bacteria, but they kill all of the good bacteria too. Trust me you don't want to kill all of the good bacteria, ladies. Yeast infection for days. So, did I need antibiotics during labor? Nope, and it was all because of a small change in my diet. Thank you, midwife.
You have immediate contact with your midwife. How annoying is it to call the doctor's office and never even speak to the doctor? That just never happens with a midwife. You can call, text, and email them and they will actually call, text, and email you back! What?!
The ONLY downside that I would say there is to using a midwife is that most insurance providers don't cover it. Awful, I know. But in this downside there is an upside. If you're like us and have a high deductible then you're still going to pay less using a midwife in cash. Midwives just don't cost as much as using an OB and delivering in a hospital. So for us it was completely worth it to pay her cash. We saved thousands of dollars.
Comfort
I cannot accurately voice my praise for giving birth in my own house. It was so comfortable. My bed, my couch, my food, my bathroom. Everything in the hospital is unfamiliar including the people coming into your room. You might also find it hard to truly labor the way your body wants to. Now I didn't make a whole lot of noise until the pushing part, but I've read that some women really feel the need to make some native noises through contractions. Who wants to go native in a hospital? No way. I want to be in my own space surrounded by familiarity.
Not only is being able to labor at home awesome, but after you deliver you can crawl into your own bed with your baby and camp out for days. No hospital stay. No hospital food. And your sweet husband doesn't have to sleep on a chair haha. Now one of the things to keep in mind is that at home, your husband, mom, sister, whoever is going to be taking care of you for the next few days. No nurses are there to bring you anything or help change anything. So you will be needing a great support team or person who is willing to wait on you hand and foot free of charge with no complaints :)
Control
When you birth at home you are in control in more ways than one. First of all, you control who is present for this extremely personal experience. From labor and beyond you know exactly who is there, where the baby is, and who has the baby. In the hospital there are many unknowns. I didn't know the woman who took Eli and measured him. I didn't know when the pediatrician came and circumcised him. I didn't know who was caring for him in the nursery when he was jaundiced. There were so many people that he had contact with in his first days and I didn't even know them. It freaks me out so bad now that I am cringing as I type this. But, when Everett was born I knew everything. Even in my hazy postpartum hemorrhage state I knew exactly where Everett was and who was caring for him. It was comforting to still have that control even when going through a postpartum complication.
You also have more control over your labor at home. There is no doctor there prematurely telling you that you're not progressing fast enough, so we might need to do a cesarean. There are no hourly checks to see how far you're dilated, unless you really want them. You have the option of laboring in water (not all hospitals do). There's a lot less pressure to labor any specific way or on anyone else's clock.
Logic
My home vs. germ infested building where sick people congregate? Haha another Jim Gaffigan joke. But really...think about it. Why do people go to the hospital? Either they are injured or sick. A healthy pregnant woman is neither. So why has it become normal for women to deliver babies in hospitals? Well, labor is painful. We tend to associate pain with negative thoughts, and this particular degree of pain would be considered an emergency to many. The only place to rid yourself of the pain is in a hospital with the help of an epidural. What we have failed to acknowledge as a society is that this is pain with purpose behind it. Eliminating that pain sort of throws a wrench in the birthing process. There is a quote by Laura Stavoe Harm that I found so profound and it really changed my perspective on labor pain. She said, "There is a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." You can handle labor and delivery until you start telling yourself that you can't.
Ladies, your birth experience will be your own. No matter how many posts you read or videos you watch, yours will be different. Seek information and educate yourself on the birthing process. Make decisions based on what is right for you and your baby. Surround yourself with people who make you comfortable and support your decisions. Don't close your mind off to any options because you never know what situations will occur. Keep the ultimate goal in mind. Healthy mama. Healthy baby. Also, watch Jim Gaffigan talk about home birth because it's hilarious :)
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